Ryan Holiday, who has authored several books based on Stoic philosophy, says that most self-improvement books are focused on how to succeed. But his book titled The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph focuses on how to overcome problems, failures, and other things that stand between us and our goals.
He starts by quoting Marcus Aurelius: “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”
“There have been countless lessons (and books) about achieving success, but no one ever taught us how to overcome failure, how to think about obstacles, how to treat and triumph over them, and so we are stuck. Beset on all sides, many of us are disoriented, reactive, and torn. We have no idea what to do.”
Holiday says his goal is not to help you think more positively about what’s wrong with your life/career/relationship. “Not “be positive” but learn to be ceaselessly creative and opportunistic.
Not: This is not so bad. But: I can make this good.”
I’m an optimist by nature. I believe that generally, things will get better, no matter how dire they seem at the moment. Losing a job feels awful, but the next job (or relationship or opportunity) might very well be a better one. Sometimes, we are so afraid of change that even the yucky status quo feels better and safer than whatever is on the other side of the current catastrophe.
Holiday says the lessons of the Stoics are focused on remaining calm and objective in the face of obstacles. Our emotions block us from seeing things clearly and seeing the opportunity that may lie within or on the other side of the obstacle facing us right now. In fact, what you see as an obstacle may actually be a gift.
We tend to take things personally. We waste a lot of time wondering “Why is this happening?” “Why is this happening to ME?” The short answer is that it isn’t. It’s simply happening. For all that it might make you sigh to hear it, “It is what it is” is actually a useful phrase. It takes the personal outrage / sorrow / despair out of the equation so you can see the problem clearly and find a solution more quickly. You can worry about why it happened later – if indeed it matters once you’ve gotten past the current crisis. And whether you have any power to change what happens in the future.
Holiday quotes As Laura Ingalls Wilder: “There is good in everything, if only we look for it.”
There is no failure if you learn from your mistake. No critic or rival can make you miserable if you examine their feedback carefully and use it to get better. (Or decide that their intentions are not kind or worth your attention and get stronger by learning to ignore them.)
“The Things which hurt,” Benjamin Franklin wrote, “instruct.”
Published by